[5 Minute Read]
You deserve an explanation! I don’t say no to be arrogant. I don’t say no because I’m too cool for you. I don’t say no because I’m too busy. Yet, I decline your invitation over and over again. I’m hoping that you, my friend, understand where I’m coming from and respect my decision. I’m blessed to receive text messages each weekend to go hang out and party. It feels good to know that you enjoy my company and want to spend time with me. The problem is I can’t hang out with you. I feel terrible saying no and hate making excuses every week so that’s why I am publishing this.
I’m selfish and I have no regrets about it. I value every single hour, every single minute and every single second of my life. For those of you who don’t know me, here is a quick background about me: I grew up in a blue-collar household watching way too many episodes of MTV Cribs and decided that I was going to “make it” one day and nothing would stop me. I founded a chef uniform company my first year in culinary school, which is now a product based marketing agency. I bootstrapped it with about $800 and grew it to a six-figure company in its first year. I had no investors. I had no mentors. I had no support. I was alone. This is important to know in order to understand why we can’t hang out. You can learn more about me here.
I want to address some key elements about hanging out: FUN, WOMEN, and ALCOHOL. Many of you want to go out to catch up and chill, some of you want to go out and hit on girls, and most of you are trying to get buzzed to find enough courage to hit on that brunette. While there is nothing wrong with hanging out, I can’t afford to invest an entire evening to “women, alcohol, and fun” which is usually the case. I will address each of these because they are important to break down.
Fun — It’s fun to get together to decompress and catch up. I would much rather catch up over coffee or in a more private setting so that I don’t keep looking over at that hot brunette. I’m not as boring as you think I am. This is what I consider fun: I’m a part of a non-profit Latin dance company called Inspiración and dance 2–3 times a week. I also train in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu several times a week. I also enjoy traveling. I have a trip to Spain, LA and San Francisco lined up. I read for fun. I work on personal development. I work on me.
Women — I 100% believe that women are the most beautiful creatures in the world. There’s no denying it — I love women. Most of us go out to meet new people and hope to find our soul mate or hook up. There is nothing wrong with that, but I feel that when you try to “pick up” girls on a Saturday night, their guards are up, they expect to be approached, get hit on and there is a lot of competition. This is not the best investment of my time nor something I want to make time for this stage in my life. I make time for the ladies when I can, although it’s not a priority. To the beautiful girls that I expressed interest in and never followed up. I’m sorry — I am working on this.
Alcohol — Most things in moderation are ok, but I have no interest in waking up with a headache and sleeping in until 1pm and ruining my entire day.
I’m not opposed to fun, women and alcohol, but this is typically what happens when you go out. I have a greater purpose in life. I believe I can change the world. I spend my weekends working my face off because I am obsessed with achieving a higher level of success. The word “work” has bad connotation because most people are not happy with their jobs. I used to feel that way, but I found my passion. Work is not “work” for me. So, you might be wondering what I am doing right now, on this Saturday night. While my competition is “hanging out” I’m working on crushing them because that’s fun! The business I started with $800 I mentioned earlier, will be celebrating its 6 year anniversary this year because I have spent almost every weekend having my kind of fun.
This doesn’t mean that I’ll never go out. I’m picky about who I want to spend my time with. I like to surround myself with people I can learn from, who I can look up to and that bring out the best qualities in me.